Boyhood: As Painful as Adolescence Itself

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(Warning: profanity ahead) Finally saw Boyhood to see what all the buzz is about. Yes, it was intriguing to watch Mason (played by Ellar Coltrane) grow from cherub-cheeked kiddo to lackadaisical young malcontent, but none of the characters of Boyhood were particularly likeable or even very sympathetic. The adults were either stupid assholes, pathetic narcisists, or sadly short-sighted victims. Final analysis? The whole thing gave me a tension headache and left me feeling empty and pretty damn gross.

I know I’m totally goin’ against the grain here, but if you’d like to be held captive by dreary strangers and forced to watch their repugnant home movies for the last 12 years for three solid hours, go for it. This gal was not impressed, and I usually love character-driven movies. But, unless you’re seriously interested in watching the disintegration of multiple familial units and witness what a total clusterf*ck parent/child, spousal, and peer relationships can be, without any comedic relief, save yourself the time and money and angst and watch something else. ANYTHING else.

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The one redeeming quality of the film is the fact that it is set in Texas, and we all know that Texas is the best. As far as I could tell, the two real reasons this movie has the critics and Hollywood award-givers/back-slappers buzzing is because it took 12 years to film (Richard Linklater probably deserves the award for this feat as, it does make cinematic history) and Patricia Arquette also deserves serious consideration for being able to accurately portray an honest to goodness shit-magnet for twelve looong years. Aside from the time span novelty and Arquette’s endurance, the movie was an unpleasant and depressing disappointment.

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